Forgive or Forget
by TokehGecko
Summary: How forgiving can one boy be ? Short angstfic. Chapter 5's up.
1. Humanity's Scapegoat

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Disclaimer: I don't own EVA.

Forgive or Forget ?

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A young man was staring out of his window. It took him long to build this house. The window he was looking out was a window without the glass. He was glad he had a roof, since it was raining outside. He could live this way, he only needed walls and a roof. He didn't even have a roof. And yet, he survived this long….He always wondered why ?

'I can't believe this, I can't believe them. I still can't believe it, it's been years, I don't even know how many. They abandoned me, they blamed me, they left me to die. Third Impact was my fault. Toji's injuries are my fault, his little sister's are my fault. Kaoru...was my fault... I can't take this any longer.

I haven't seen them for a long time, and I am quite happy about it. I now live alone, between the mountains. No one cares for me, and I don't care about me either. I no longer care about everything and everyone. I thought they cared for me, yet I was deceived once again. 

Misato, I really thought Misato cared about me. But she tossed me away immediately after Third Impact. Blaming me for everything. Asuka never cared about me, so she just screamed at me, telling me to get the hell out of their lives. Toji was restrained by several people, he tried to hit me, stomp me probably. Kensuke just turned his back at me. I guess I deserved it, for being a coward, a weakling. The one good thing that happened was the death of my father. '

'And now I live alone. In the darkness I live, and I am happy this way. No one to yell at me, no one to blame me.. no one to hurt me... To be lonely is better than to be hurt. I am happy when I'm alone. The only thing I like now is loneliness. The word is negative, but for me it's the best I have. I'm useless, I shouldn't have been born. I caused Third Impact, I killed people...'

'I really thought they cared for me. Third Impact...wasn't entirely my fault. The world has changed back to its normal state. After I saw Asuka on the beach, I thought it was hell. She did hate me, so that's why I thought it. But everyone else returned. And they all spit in my face, after they thought nothing would be normal ever again. '

'But now everything's normal again, after maybe three or two years. I can not forgive them, simply because I don't want to be hurt again. I thought they cared for me, and then I found out they didn't. I can not forgive them for it. They, everyone, blamed it on me, Shinji Ikari, the black sheep of humanity. It's very odd I didn't kill myself. I suppose I was already ashamed of myself, and didn't want to make it worse by committing suicide. It is the ultimate sin, I think..

I wonder how they think about it.. about almost killing me, hitting me until I stopped breathing, stopped moving. I wonder how ashamed humanity will be, after they find out Third Impact wasn't my fault at all. Will they crawl to me, begging for forgiveness ? Will they take pity on me ? I don't care, what's done is done. They did the wrong thing, and I can't forgive them for it. I mean, they almost killed me, and here I thought they cared for me…I guess I was wrong…like always.

I always knew it would turn out like this. Whenever I show myself, my real self, and try to do good things for the world, I end up getting hurt. Never shall I do anything ever again for this stupid and unfair world. '

'I remember when I was strangling the life out of Asuka, she was just too weak to do anything against me, so she caressed my cheek, a failed attempt to hit it. After she regained enough of her strength, she started to scream at me and hit me probably a hundred times. I cried all the way, but she didn't care, she just kept hitting me, until I stopped crying...and stopped breathing..'

Flashback

"I feel sick."

Shinji got off Asuka and continued to cry for he as witnessed the end of the world and saw how he was being refused by people he thought he knew...

"Shinji.."  Asuka spat out poisonous. 

Shinji looked wide-eyes at Asuka, expecting to be attacked any time now. But Asuka fainted again, leaving Shinji to himself for now.

"I....I'm sorry.."

Two days later..

Shinji was getting hungry, he hadn't had anything in these three days. Asuka hadn't slept at all and it seemed she was extremely frustrated seeing as she was stomping around and cursing at everything. Shinji just shrugged and stared at the red sky, filling himself with guilt. All of a sudden Asuka screamed his name..

"Shinji, Get the fuck up now !!"

Shinji complied, he had never seen Asuka this mad. Without a warning or something of the sort, Asuka punched hard in the face. Shinji fell hard backwards and held both his hands on his now bleeding nose.

"You...This is all your fault !! You sick, crazy weakling !!" Asuka screamed.

Asuka kicked Shinji hard in the side several times.

"You.. You must PAY !!! Everyone died...because of you !!!" Asuka screamed, while kicking Shinji.

Shinji, by now, was crying as he accepted every kick and punch Asuka threw at him, believing it was all his fault. 

"I..." Asuka was shedding silent tears "I hate you Shinji !!!"

And she kept kicking and punching Shinji, screaming all the while.

"I hate you !! I hate YOU !! I HATE you !!! I HATE YOU !!!"

Asuka's tears were unnoticed by Shinji, since he blacked out..

End Flashback

'I remember when the others came back, I awoke after someone threw some cold water in my face. Mean, furious glares were watching me. I saw their disgusted looks, looks I was very familiar with. 

After feeling the pain from Asuka's attacks come back to me, Misato started to yell at me, telling me this red world was all my fault, she told me she hated me now, for destroying everything. I started crying again. I saw almost twenty people in front of me. Hikari started slapping me as well, it seemed her slaps were even harder than Asuka's, but it could feel harder because her attacks were on top of Asuka's previous attacks. It hurt, it hurt a lot, I cried as Toji punched me in the face several times. Other people, people I didn't know started screaming at me, telling me how much they hated me. I blacked out again, when I woke up I was all alone, abandoned and forever to be forgotten...'

Flashback

"He's waking up." Toji said, as he stared holes in Shinji.

"Uhhn ?" Shinji mumbled.

"Wake up, Shinji !" Asuka yelled in his ear.

Asuka slapped Shinji several times in the face, trying to wake him up. Although she did hit him a little too hard.

"Oow.." Shinji groaned, as the pain he had forgotten, came back to him...hard. 

Shinji saw some familiar faces, like Misato, Asuka, Kensuke, Toji, who was standing on one leg and he was leaning on a stick, Hikari and other people he didn't know.

"Listen, you idiot.. You do know this is all your fault, right ?" Asuka said, while pointing menacing at Shinji.

"...Yes.." Shinji whispered.

"After all that has happened, the world still died.." Misato said.

"Yeah, and all because of Ikari." Toji said.

"Ikari....the name is a curse to humankind." Misato said and nodded.

"I...I'm sorry.." Shinji whispered.

"Sorry ? You're sorry ? For destroying mankind.. you're sorry ?" Misato yelled.

"Hmph...Shinji, we hate you" Asuka said, speaking for all the others.

"Do you even know what you have done ?! This entire world is broken, all because of you !"

"But.. I.. I never.. I didn't have a choice !!!" Shinji cried.

"Stop being so weak, it is because of that this all has happened !" Asuka yelled.

Shinji's loud sobs made the others stare disgusted at him. Suddenly, Hikari appeared from behind Toji and slapped Shinji hard in the face. Shinji looked at Hikari and he fell even deeper in his own despair.

Hikari hit him again....and again....an again.. and ten times, twenty....until Misato stopped her. Toji limped toward the bleeding Shinji and punched him square in the face.

"Asshole..."

Shinji continued to sob, he heard how all the people in front of him started to scream at him. Some people hit him a few times while others spitted on him. This went on for a long time. Shinji just fazed out and tried to ignore the pain inside and outside of him..

End Flashback

'Now here I am trying to forget it all. But I still remember everything. The pain, the screams, the surroundings, the smell, everything. I wiped a lonesome tear away from my eye as I stare out the window. 

"I can not forgive humanity for this..."

I have nothing, and that will never change. I am nothing, and that will never change either. I do hope I will die a natural death soon, though. I have nothing left to live for, considering I had nothing left to live for to begin with. I walk away from the window to start making dinner. As I pass a mirror while walking to the kitchen, I stopped and looked at myself. I am pretty built compared to three years ago. I work out every day and it's showing. I had to develop some muscles and train to defend myself. 

In the past years, some people tried to hunt me down, and they tried to kill me for causing Third Impact. In the beginning people caught me and almost hit me to death, leaving me to rot in the forests that are surrounding my house. '

Flashback

"Is….is it him ?" A voice whispered.

"Maybe, let's find out." Another voice whispered back.

Shinji was terrified, he found himself surrounded by dark figures, in the middle of night. He cursed himself for still being outside this late. 

"It's a boy…it could be him.."

"Use your flashlight !"

Shinji found himself staring in a blinding light. Several gasps were hears as the others recognized him.

'This is bad..'

And soon, the much older men were kicking and punching Shinji around like rag doll. 

End Flashback

'But now I can defend myself. I don't know why I started to train, seeing I do have a death wish. But if people are just going to hurt you very badly, but not kill you, it's better to fight back.

I wonder how they reacted at seeing the world changing to its normal self. Life is unfair, they will never know it wasn't entirely my fault, they will always see me as the bringer of destruction, humanity's weak link... They will never know, I actually did the right thing. I actually made the right choice then, but they will never know...and they will always blame me... '

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"It's been long enough..."

"Yes. It's time humanity knows their own true nature, and knows who their real saviour was.."

"Only then will he find his own strength, and only then mankind can live again."

"But...will he forgive his own kind.. for its betrayal...for its weakness."

"Humanity is weak...he, more than anyone knows this...surely he can understand."

"He has been betrayed and tortured through his entire life."

"Yes, and because of that, he became the Chosen. No one has been hurt as much as him."

"I feel sorry for him."

"Yes, we all do. Humanity will pay for its weakness."

"Humanity's scapegoat will make the choice...again."

"He has proven himself to be strong."

"Yes. His first choice was perfect. Third Impact had been prevented."

"But mankind almost destroyed his soul because of its disbelief."

"I doubt if he is still strong enough.. he has lost most of his own natural strength.."

"His own race has made him weaker, much weaker. There is a possibility he will no longer defend Humanity."

"Indeed. Does mankind even deserve to exist ?"

"We will find out. Ikari Shinji has the answer..."

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On earth, Lilith appeared. She watched from afar how humanity had developed itself. Soon, it will begin...or it will end.. Humanity will see what they have done wrong. Humanity will see what their faults are, and there are many. Mankind's saviour can be the saviour again, if he chooses to be. But first, humanity will see what really happened during Third Impact, and every man and woman on earth will be ashamed... 

How forgiving can one boy be ? 

Will he care if mankind stopped existing ? Does he still care about anything, after all that has been done to him ? Will Shinji Ikari save the world again, now that he thinks he knows how everyone thinks of him ?  If I were him, I would let humanity have its end right here and now. Their cruelty doesn't deserve to live on. They do not deserve to be forgiven. If the boy does forgive them, he could be considered to be as noble as a god could be… even more so. And that is very…..impossible..

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TBC

Yep, sorry, another short fic. This one will have maybe two or three other chapters…

Yes, OOC, but I will explain it further in the story..


	2. Past Impact

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Forgive or Forget Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own EVA, nor will I ever.

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Two women were talking at each other and a very lively, colorful living room. They had tried to live a normal life again. Both didn't have anyone else and were forced to stay together. But after getting used to it, it wasn't that bad. Misato Katsuragi was now 32 years old and Asuka Langley Sohryu was 18 years old. To say both have changed a lot in appearance would be a lie. Asuka let her hair grow a little longer and hair was little darker red. Misato still looked the same, not a single wrinkle. 

The world has changed to its normal self again and both of them knew they had committed terrible sins. Unforgivable sins to one boy, the scapegoat. And he wasn't even at fault. 

Asuka has cried over it for a long time, even though she promised to herself she would never cry again. But Shinji didn't deserve it. He just didn't deserve it. She couldn't blame anyone for it because she herself did the same. And now she can't live before knowing all is alright with him. But, what will he say if everyone starts visiting him ?

Misato cried for Shinji even more than Asuka. They have been such fools. Just blame the one who's at fault, or who you THINK is at fault. Committing suicide wouldn't be fair. It would a coward's way out. If anyone can commit suicide, it's Shinji. She wouldn't be surprised if he did. 

After the world had started to change again, two years ago, everyone knew how wrong they were. And all thought of one boy: Ikari Shinji. How could they have done it ? Humanity was depressed, even when the world was completely back to its normal self. Depressed because of their own doing..

"We must do this." Asuka said.

"I know.. but...I'm scared, Asuka." Misato said.

"Me too... Oh, Hikari, Toji and Kensuke are coming with us." Asuka said.

"I don't know if I can handle it...seeing Shinji's face...even if I think about it.. it reminds me of all those horrible things I did." Misato said, quietly sobbing.

"Yeah, I know what you mean... I feel the same way." Asuka said, putting a hand on Misato's shoulder, while sniffling a bit.

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In another living room, two other people were getting ready to go somewhere.

"So, are you ready ?" Toji asked Hikari, who was busy packing things. "I still don't see why you're packing so many things, Hikari, but, we are ready now, right ?."

"I don't think I'll ever be, Toji. I mean, after all the things we did to him..." Hikari said sadly.

"I know. But....we HAVE to apologize for it. I hate myself for what I've done, Hikari." Toji said.

"I think everyone hates themselves for what they've done." Hikari said.

Toji sighed sadly "I wonder how Shinji is doing, if he's still alive."

Hikari and Toji fell silent after that.

"I think I'm ready to go." Kensuke said, stepping in the apartment and breaking the silence.

"Yeah, we're ready too." Toji responded to him, after three seconds.

"Well, Ikari-kun. Here we come.." Hikari said, as she followed Toji and Kensuke out the apartment.

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Shinji was currently sitting on a very misformed chair he made out of the wood he once brought home. All he did during the day was sitting in this 'chair' and think. He hunted animals down and those became his food. The bad things were there were bugs everywhere. He slept on the floor and all night long mosquito's were buzzing in his ears. 

The dreams he had were mostly memories, bad memories, since he didn't have many good ones, actually he couldn't even remember the good times of his life. It all didn't matter to him anymore. The world could die, humanity could die, and he hoped it all died a slow, painful death. 

Shinji's ears perked up as he heard bushes being moved, and voices in the distance. He sighed, now would be the day the people know their faults and they're feeling sorry for him. Shinji didn't feel like being pitied. He didn't feel like having company either. How dare they think they can just trespass on his ground ? Still, he was curious as to what they would want. 

Toji and Kensuke were leading the way, although they didn't know where the hell they were supposed to be going. They were slowly moving forward, imagining how Shinji felt when everyone hurt him and blamed him. And now that they think about it, they know they can never be forgiven for it. Asuka, Misato and Hikari were walking behind Toji and Kensuke. Asuka was thinking about how she treated Shinji from the moment she woke up. She was so wrong thinking the world had ended and the cause of it was lying next to her. She ignored him for a long time and after that, she punched him, several times. How wrong she was, could Shinji forgive her ? During all the hitting-Shinji time Asuka realized she actually didn't hate Shinji, but there was something else. Something she didn't want to admit...ever..

Hikari remembered Shinji's face after she slapped him for the first time. He was always so innocent, and yet, we had to beat him up. Hikari thought about looking at him disgusted while he was crying. She was really disgusted with herself now..

Misato's eyes were watery while she was walking. She hoped Shinji would be ok, even if he will not talk to her and the others. She could not believe she blamed him, even after all their time together.

Toji's and Kensuke's eyes widened as they saw a thing what looked like a house. It was actually a very big pile of wood. No door, holes as windows and a flat roof. They immediately that's where Shinji would be. They've heard the stories, Shinji was beaten up by other people here too. But after a year or so Shinji defended himself, enough of being beaten up by the days. And no one came there anymore. And then, everyone realized Shinji actually saved humanity instead of condemning it. Shinji was the savior after all, and just look at we did.....

Shinji stepped out of his 'house' and stood face to face with the trespassers. At first he thought they were just fools trying to apologize because everything worked out after all. But, after narrowing his eyes, he thought he knew these people. But it didn't make any difference, even if he did know them, he was betrayed by everyone. They should get out of here now !!!

Misato's eyes widened as she saw Shinji appear, everyone's eyes widened. Oh, how they feared this moment. Now they stood here, in front of Shinji. What to say ? What to ask ?

"Go away." Shinji spoke dangerously.

"S-Shinji.." Misato said.

Well, of course they knew his name, he was after all the one that saved humanity, something he will NOT try again. Shinji learned from his mistakes. His fear of getting hurt or getting rejected was now multiplied with a zillion. He won't let anyone ever near to him again. 

"I said, Go away !!" Shinji screamed, disgusted at the people before him. 

Toji moved toward Shinji "Shinji.."

As soon as he moved, Shinji's fist connected with Toji's jaw, making Toji fall to the ground.

"I warned you, leave this place..." Shinji said.

Toji was groaning at the ground until Hikari helped him up.

"Don't you.. recognize us, Shinji ?" Kensuke carefully asked.

Shinji stared at Kensuke "Leave."

"Shinji, it's me, Misato !!"  Misato yelled desperately.

"I don't care." Shinji said. "All I want now is to see all of you leave."

Kensuke was amazed by the sight. Shinji stood before him. His savior, THEIR savior. As the memories flashed through his mind, he had to resist crying. He actually hadn't hit Shinji, but he watched everything, actually enjoying it at that time. How ashamed he was now no one would want to know.

Toji was rubbing his jaw, he actually felt better after being hit by Shinji. Looking at him now, in his eyes, he knew how much he hated them....him... And the bad thing is, they deserved it completely.

Misato was shedding tears as she watched Shinji's eyes. Pure resentment was staring at her, and she couldn't handle it. She had slapped this boy, this innocent boy. She couldn't handle this. His blue eyes flaring at her in anger. Those blue eyes that once had so much curiosity and innocence in them. And because of them he was completely ripped apart from the inside. 

Asuka's lips were trembling and her heart was beating faster than ever. Now she knew.. all this time she had feelings for this boy, this boy that she had beaten up. Her knees were shaking as she watched the features of Shinji. He didn't have a beard or a mustache, he was the same. She wondered how he does it. His face was almost the same, a bit older, and his face looked really angry. She closed her eyes and fought the tears.

Hikari was carefully looking at Shinji, afraid to be attacked at any time. She let out a soft yell as he hit Toji. Shinji had changed a lot. And sadly, his change was only logical. With out Shinji, we all would have died. and so he saved us, and look at how we 'thanked' him. 

'We are Pathetic'

"Shinji...you have to understand..we...we were confused !" Asuka screamed.

Shinji stared at Asuka "Go away. Which word don't you understand ?" Shinji said, getting rather impatient. The nerve of these people, he should just ignore them and walk away.

"Shinji.." Hikari began, but she stopped seeing Shinji simply walked away from them.

They didn't move, instead they all sat down in the grass. 

"He..he has changed.." Hikari spoke first.

"What do you expect ? It's only natural he is this way now." Kensuke explained.

"Urgh, it hurts, he can sure pack a punch.." Toji said, rubbing his bleeding bottom lip.

"I think it's best if we leave.." Kensuke suggested.

"No, I refuse to leave.. I simply can't live with the fact, I, WE, hurt an innocent young man, who also saved our world.."

"My god... I really think this was a bad idea... This just fills the guilt inside of us." Kensuke stated.

"I don't care ! Shinji has to know, that we REALLY care for him !" Misato screamed.

"But he will never believe us. I mean, we almost killed him.." Asuka whispered, immediately making the others silent as well. 

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"Shinji Ikari." A voice boomed inside Shinji's head.

"Uh ?" was Shinji's response. 

What was going on now ? Is he beginning to hear voices as well ? Shinji continued to walk, after looking around for three full seconds. He knew the people all too well.... The woman with the purple-colored hair, who called herself Misato, was Misato Katsuragi. The other woman beside Misato, with red-hair was probably Asuka. The boy with the curlish hair could be Kensuke Aida, he wasn't too sure, since he didn't have glasses on. The boy he clobbered was Toji, knowing his ignorance, and the woman that helped him up, could be...Hikari. He didn't remember her last name.

"Shinji Ikari." The voice boomed through his mind again.

"WHA-" Shinji tried to scream 'What' but an immense pain in his mind stopped him, he couldn't even scream before he blacked out.

Shinji found himself in front of a huge Rei once again... Shinji's eyes widened and he thought everything was happening all over again. He screamed hard and long, which caused the huge Rei to smirk evilly.

"Shinji, do not worry. This time it's different."

Shinji stopped screaming as the voice boomed through his mind. 

"What.. why am I here.. again ?" Shinji asked.

"To end what you have started." Lilith spoke.

"But...I didn't start anything !!"

"You have revealed humanity's true nature. Now you know how much you can depend on your fellow lilum." Lilith spoke.

"Uhh, Lilum ?" Shinji asked.

"I mean humans. Now you know how much you can depend on your fellow humans."

"......"

"But, that can all change. If you want to." Lilith proposed.

"...Uhh...I don't know.. I'm confused..How..how ?"

"Shinji, if you had a chance to make humanity as it was before, along with the world. Would you do it ?"

Shinji looked at Rei in front and above him. 

"...No."

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TBC

In the next chapter every bit of OOC shall be explained.

Short, yeah, but, this is, after all, a shortfic.


	3. Repeating the Torture

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Disclaimer: I still don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Forgive or Forget Chapter 3

Shinji was terrified, he couldn't believe everything was happening again. Lilith stood before him, in the form of a giant Rei. And he again had a big decision to make. To save humanity, or to not save humanity. He couldn't believe he was hesitating. Shinji shook his head and made a decision. He just couldn't save them again. Not after what they had done to him. 

"You can talk to them, tell them what is about to happen." Lilith spoke, which made Shinji flinch.

Talk to them ? Why would he want to talk to them ? They don't deserve to be warned, they don't deserve anything. Shinji looked at his own hands and saw they were filled with scars. His entire body was a scar. Scars of wounds other people inflicted on him. 

"Let me talk to them. I want to see what they feel and think. What they have to say." Shinji whispered.

"Very well." Lilith answered.

Shinji closed his eyes from the pain of the wind in his eyes as Lilith was moving him. Within a second he saw Asuka and Misato before him, and behind them, Kensuke, Hikari and Toji. 

"Su-Shinji ?" Misato stuttered.

Shinji looked at them with narrowed eyes. The people before him, were indeed the people that were SUPPOSED to be his friends. They betrayed him with ease, not even feeling sorry for his pain at that time. 

"I came to talk." Shinji stated coldly, startling the others, who hadn't seen him yet. He knew he had become more like his father. He was probably even colder than him. 

"Shinji.. We.." Misato began.

"I want to know why you came here." Shinji demanded.

"We came.. to apologize.." Toji said carefully.

"Apologize ?" Shinji chuckles for five seconds. "What's the point ? What's done is done. My feelings about it won't change. I won't forgive you." Shinji spoke.

"We understand.. we just want you to know.. we were confused.." Misato said, sobbing.

"So, because you're confused I have to suffer ? I have to feel pain ?" Shinji said.

"No, we just.. we just want you to know, we're sorry." Hikari said.

"Sorry... how often I have used that particular word. I was naive and now realize I never needed to say sorry. I now know and learned from, my mistakes." Shinji spoke.

"Shinji... do you.. do you recognize us ?" Asuka asked.

"Of course. You were my supposed to be my friends. Yet, you were also the first that tortured me. In the beginning, I really thought I deserved and I screwed everything up. But realization struck and I remember I was the one that saved you all. My 'FRIENDS' betrayed me." Shinji spat out.

"We ARE your friends, we just... I.. " Toji began, but never ended.

"I don't care. I don't care anymore. The world can die now. Nothing interests me anymore. Not you, not anyone. " Shinji whispered.

"Shinji... I.. can't we try and start over ?" Kensuke offered.

Shinji frowned at Kensuke, and with every second his frown grew, until Shinji burst out chuckling.

"Try and start over ? Do you really believe that is possible ? After everything you've done to me ? I want all of you dead. Your faces sicken me, your guilt disgusts me. I can no longer take this." Shinji spoke.

"Shinji.. I.. we care for you !" Asuka screamed, shedding some tears.

"But..... I don't care for you... not anymore." Shinji spoke.

"What.. what do you mean ?" Asuka asked.

Shinji focused himself completely on Asuka "I once.... loved you... I really did... And over the years, I truly know what love is. I came to realize I love nothing now.. nothing, Not even Mother Nature, or the sunrise. But in the past, I know what I loved. I loved my friends, who betrayed me. I loved Misato, as a mother, as a sister, but she too, betrayed me. And I even loved Asuka, her more than anyone else, but of course, she betrayed me as well. Love changes to hate, and after hate it usually turns into understanding. But not with me. There is nothing to realize. The memories of the past will always stay with me, rejecting any chance of happiness for me. But I don't care. Which is why I am pleased with what the future has to offer me now.." Shinji told, with a smirk.

"I….. I loved you too.." Asuka whispered, but Shinji didn't hear it.

"I came to tell you... The world will end again. And this time, no one will try to save it." Shinji spoke.

The others fell silent at his admission. Shinji enjoyed their looks, looks of despair. He decided it was time everyone knew he can save them but won't. That will really enjoy him...

"Lilith... show the entire world what happened and what will happen." Shinji asked.

Images from the past shot through every mind on earth. Images of Shinji screaming, refusing Third Impact and in doing so, saving the entire existence on earth. Then all humanity was forced to see how THEY tortured Shinji. And now, Third Impact will resume. And Shinji is allowed to choose for death or life. Now all of humanity can tremble at their own faults. Cry for each other's deaths. And no one deserves a second chance... no one.

As Lilith spoke to all humans, Shinji was enjoying every cry of despair, every regret, every scream of pain and sorrow. He enjoyed the death of humanity now. No longer will he feel pain, his and their pain....

Lilith spoke up.

"What do you choose, Ikari Shinji ?"

Shinji smirked and narrowed his eyes. He sighed deeply and spoke up.

"I want revenge...."

Shinji's eyes widened at what he just saw. He saw himself, colder than his father will ever be, destroying mankind. He saw himself enjoying death.

"This is one of the possibilities, Shinji. If you choose to save the humans from Third Impact, this COULD happen." Lilith spoke.

"That.. will I really become like... like THAT ?" Shinji whispered.

"Yes, eventually, you will." Lilith said.

"So, if I save them, I would kill them, in the end, anyway ?" Shinji asked.

"Yes. It is a rather big possibility." Lilith said.

"I.. I see. is there a positive outcome ?" Shinji asked.

"It depends.. what do YOU think is positive ?" Lilith asked.

"I.. I don't know.. A world without angels, without Evangelions."

"Would that not mean you will lose your purpose ?" Lilith said.

"I didn't have a purpose to begin with. I don't deserve a purpose."

"What do you want, Ikari Shinji ?" Lilith asked.

"I.. I want nothing to change... except, the Angels should disappear." Shinji answered.

"You want to risk getting hurt again ?" Lilith asked.

"Yes. But, can you.. can you kill me, and then make the world back to its normal self ?" Shinji asked.

"You want to die then ?" Lilith asked.

"Yes. If I wasn't there to begin with, none of this would've happened." Shinji said.

"Are you sure of that ?" Lilith said.

"Yes, I am." Shinji answered.

"You know, your choice is different from what I expected you to choose." Lilith said.

"What.. what did you expect ?" Shinji asked, hesitating.

"I expected that you wanted this, but, I didn't expect you wanted to die." Lilith answered.

"If I don't die here, I will be tortured, just like you showed me." Shinji said.

"Not exactly. This way is different. I will show you what it'll be like if you choose to stay alive and if you choose to die."

Shinji watched as Lilith magically showed him another 'movie'.

Shinji saw himself, with a genuine smile on his face, sitting on a chair on a balcony. 

'I.. I've never smiled like that before…' Shinji thought, as he watched the images before him.

Shinji watched as the Shinji in the 'movie' was being hugged by a woman from behind.

'Who, who is that ? I.. she's hugging… ME ?'

"I'm not going to tell you who the woman is, it might change the outcome if you choose this. I just wanted to show you that you can find happiness." Lilith whispered.

"Happiness ? I've never felt happiness… not really. So why would I now ?"

"It all depends on yourself."

Shinji watched as the woman let go of Shinji after whispering something in his ear. He watched as Shinji's genuine smile formed into a big smirk. The woman stepped back inside. Shinji soon followed the woman inside, slightly blushing.

Shinji found himself once again, floating in a great darkness. With a very big and quite scary Rei as Lilith before him. Did she want him to choose now ? Why should he choose ? They should know that he's the one that screwed everything up. What should he choose ?

"You see, if you choose to die, you will surely miss the your chance of happiness." Lilith explained.

"But if I stay alive… I will also get hurt.. a lot." Shinji said back to her.

"But the feeling of happiness is stronger than the feeling of pain." Lilith said.

"Are.. are you sure of that ? I've never felt happiness, but I've felt plenty of pain. I.. I don't think there's anything that feels more stronger then pain…" Shinji said.

"Yes, you will have to find out. But all the pain you have experienced has made you strong."

"Strong ? I.. am .. strong ? I.. I know I'm NOT strong. I'm weak… All this is my fault." Shinji said.

"Actually, all this is not your fault at all." 

" No ! This is my fault ! I.. I should have, should have done something.." Shinji sobbed quietly.

"You'll have to choose."

"I.. I know."

TBC.


	4. New Settings

Neon Genesis Evangelion  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.  
  
Forgive or Forget Chapter 4  
  
Shinji sighed deeply and felt like he could cry any second now. Does he really want to live ? After everything that happened. He has witnessed almost every negative aspect of life, and almost NONE of the positive ones. He knows there's a slim chance of finding happiness. Could he really try to live again ? Among all those others, all those who have hurt him so deeply ?The first tears were beginning to form in hiseyes as he realised how unfair it was for him, what he had to go through. How sickening life is..  
  
'Selfpity... I'm already so low, and now I find myself sinking in dignity again ?'  
  
I.. I should die... and let all the others, every other one live.. I.. I can't stand the hurting. It's too much. To feel another single feeling of pain.. is unbearable to me.. Even if there's a chance of happiness for me... the pain inside me will overcloud it eventually.. I.. I don't think anyone will care... they've probably forgotten me already...  
  
"Lilith... I now know what I want."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
"Misato-san !!!" A boy yelled as he ran after a purple-haired woman. The boy was called Kensuke Aida.  
  
Misato turned around at the sound of her name, "Who.."  
  
"I.. err.. I understand if you don' recognise me, it's been so long." Kensuke stammered after he stopped in front of Misato.  
  
".... Aida-kun ?" Misato hesitantly said.  
  
Kensuke's spirits were filled with joy, "Y-You recognize me ?! HAhaha !! You really do !!"  
  
Misato smiled a small smile, "How can I forget one of Shinji's best friends ? Though it was a little hard without the glasses."  
  
Kensuke put right arm after his head and scratched the back of his head, while he nervously laughed, "Yeah.. hehe, it seems I don't need them anymore. Girls are actually noticing me now."  
  
"That's great for you, so you have a girlfriend now ?" Misato winked at him.  
  
"Neh, not me.. Where are you heading ?" Kensuke said, eager to change the subject.  
  
"Home, actually. Asuka gets cranky when we don't eat on time. And I have to supply all the vegetables and all. I haven't cooked in ages." Misato glanced sideways as she heard some noise. "What's going on over there ?"  
  
"I think it's a fight. I can't really see." Kensuke responded as he stood on his toes, trying to look over the other people that were walking around. "Oh well.."  
  
"Let's go. Come with me, so we can catch up." Misato said, not really interested.  
  
"Hmm, Asuka's there.... I don't know..." Kensuke said, deep in thought.  
  
"Asuka is, well, a lot calmer ever since.. well, you know..."  
  
"Oh... I'm sorry."  
  
"Aren't we all ?" Misato took a brief pause. "Come on, Toji and Hikari are coming over for dinner tonight. They wil be happy to see you again ?"  
  
"Ok, ok, I'll follow."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
"And so, that goddamn jerk kicked me in the shin !!" Toji said and laughed throughout the house.  
  
Hikari was blushing slightly. "Toji... You hit him back, you know ?"  
  
"Hmmph, well, that moron deserved it."  
  
"So it was you who was fighting this afternoon !?" Kensuke yelled.  
  
Hikari shook her head wildly, her hair shaking all the way with her. She didn't wore it in ponytails anymore. "Nuh-uh. I wasn't involved. It was Toji and that other guy.. What was his name ?" Hikari asked as she ticked Toji's arm.  
  
"I didn't catch the bastard's name..." Toji said a little annoyed.  
  
"Beer anyone ?" Misato asked as she entered the room, with Asuka following her with a big plate filled with all kinds of breads.  
  
"Yeah! Right here!" Toji yelled.  
  
"I think I'll pass.. I have to get up rather early tomorrow.." Kensuke grumbled slightly.  
  
"For what ?" Hikari asked, while grabbing a sausage-roll and taking a small bite.  
  
"For work. I joined the army not long ago, but somehow they decided to stuff me in an office..."  
  
Kensuke said, "But it's no biggy.. There are some real nice people working there... And I'm not even talking about the ladies." Kensuke finished with a grin.  
  
"Pervert. Just got back and he's already talking about women.." Asuka pointed out as she sat down between Misato and Hikari on the ground.  
  
"Aaa-shut uup. I'm enjoying life now.. so leave me be, ok ?"  
  
"How can one enjoy life in an office ?" Toji asked warily.  
  
"Easy. Sit down with a drink, turn the computer on and play videogames all day long." Kensuke said while adding a smirk.  
  
"Hrmph! I hope you get fired.."Asuka said, frowning at Kensuke.  
  
"If you want to talk about enjoying life then grab a beer, Kensuke!" Misato said, taking a gulp herself.  
  
"Now here's a man who's enjoying life!" Toji said, opening his second can of beer. "I'm a gym teacher at our old school."  
  
"Oh brother... Not this story again.." Asuka whined..  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
You don't want to be there ?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
"G'bye !!" Misato waved lazily at the sober Hikari and the two drunken boys Kensuke and Toji.  
  
"Bye !!" Hikari replied as the only one, since the other two were just walking forward... or something like that.  
  
Asuka sighed as Misato came back inside and fell face first on the floor. She got up, took a look at Misato, who was slightly in pain, shrugged, and turned toward her own room. Misato mumbled something unhearable afterwards.  
  
Asuka plunged down on her bed and faced the ceiling. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Then she took a trip down Memory Lane... through her dreams..  
  
---  
  
Inside Evangelion Unit-02... it's pilot was unconsciouss, but alive. The grounds before her were ever so silent. When the dust vanished, the remaining pieces of Evangelion Unit-01 and two parts of a humongous head could be seen, but the two parts vanished.  
  
"Shinji !! Is Shinji still alive !?" Misato yelled throughout the command centre.  
  
"We're not receiving any signals !!" Shigeru responded immediately. "Wait! Second Children's status is stable !!"  
  
"Retrieve her NOW !!" Misato screamed. "And try to find out what happened with Shinji !"  
  
The next day, Asuka found herself in a hospital bed. She winced as the pain came back to her. She carefully touched her eye and noticed Misato, sound asleep to the right of her bed.  
  
"Misato ?" She barely got out. She coughed twice to make sure she could yell 'Misato' again. "Misato !!"  
  
"Yuh ??" Misato mumbled, still half asleep. She opened one eye, and soon the second. "ASUKA !! you're awake !! Oh my GOD ! Are you okay ?!"  
  
Within a split second, Misato was all over Asuka. "Misato!" Asuka screeched out trying to loosen Misato's grip, "Misato !!"  
  
"Asuka.. Asuka.. It's all over... Everything's over.. " Misato cried.  
  
"Wh-What do you mean !!" Asuka screamed, and was relieved Misato let go of her.  
  
"I mean, you don't have to pilot your Evangelion anymore! No more dangers !!" Misato said, though a little sad.  
  
Asuka remained silent and thought about this a little bit longer.  
  
---  
  
Asuka and Misato walked up to Misato's car, both of them deep in thought. Misato opened the door for Asuka, and entere the car herself a few seconds later.  
  
"Misato ?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Well.. The U.N. Forces attacked NERV and planned to kill every single person involved with Nerv, including you children. We put you in Evangelion Unit-02, hoping you'd be safe there. Rei and the Commander were nowhere to be find, and after some trouble.......... we found Shinji sulking somewhere. We put him in his Eva too. We never expected you to wake up inside your Eva.  
  
Apparently, the U.N. Forces also had some Evangelions in their possesion, 8 of them. You destroyed most of them, but they just came back. One of them threw a Lance through your eye... They started ripping your Eva apart. That's when Shinji came up in his Eva... and that's when everything... started to black out.."  
  
"So.." Asuka began, confused.  
  
"So.." Misato replied, hesitating.  
  
"We all survived it ?"  
  
"Uhh... well... We've found the Commander..... he was dead... Rei.. we haven't found Rei yet.. And Shinji..... Shinji isn't found yet either.. but, we found his Eva.. and its shattered Entry Plug. Shinji wasn't in there.."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
Are you Sure ?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
"Good morniingg..." Misato groaned in the afternoon as Asuka entered the living room.  
  
"G'morning." Asuka made a very distraught face. "It smells like someone barfed in here.."  
  
Misato smiled sheeplishly and Asuka groaned.  
  
"I'm going to eat in MY room." Asuka announced as she walked toward the kitchen.  
  
'Jeezus.. I bet she put her head in her own vomit as well...'  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
"Uuugghhh...." Kensuke groaned behind his desk, with both his hands rubbing his temples.  
  
"What's wrong, Aida ?" His boss asked, standing behind Kensuke. "Had a rough night ?"  
  
"Urgh.. Kind of...." Kensuke asnwered.  
  
His boss chuckled. "Well, just see to it, you finish what need's to be finished, alright ?"  
  
"Understood." Kensuke groaned.  
  
His cellphone went off just as his boss left his office. "Aida... Kensuke.. here." Kensuke answered groggishly.  
  
"Hey, Aida !! When are you finished working ?"  
  
Kensuke sighed annoyed "DON'T.. get me started, Toji.."  
  
"Hee hee.. Well, do you have to work tomorrow ?" Toji asked, apparently not having a hang-over.  
  
"No.. Thank God." Kensuke spat out, annoyed he had to work now..  
  
"Good. Then we can go out tonight. We can catch up. Talk about the old days, you know ?"  
  
"Yeah, sure.." Kensuke answered and hung up. "Hmm, what do I have to do today anyway ?"  
  
Toji stared at his phone for a few seconds.. 'Huh.. he just hung up... heh, the idiot can't take alcohol, I guess... Tonight he'll have to.'  
  
"Hikari ?" Toji yelled toward the kitchen, while he turned the TV on.  
  
"Yeah ?"  
  
"I'm going out tonight. Kensuke's coming with me."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
I bid thee farewell then...  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------  
  
FLASHBACK...  
  
"You mean... Shinji and Rei... they're..they're...." Asuka swallowed hard. "dead ?"  
  
Misato took a long pause before answering "... Yeah... "  
  
Asuka swallowed hard again and and stared forward while her lips were trembling uncontrollably.  
  
"We never found them..... Rei... And Shinji... well.... " Misato didn't finish the sentence and broke down crying.  
  
Asuka also resisted the urge to cry and continued to stare before her.  
  
In a split second, Asuka ran away from the table, opened her door, entered her room and threw herself on her bed, burying her head in her pillow together with her arms.  
  
END FLASHBACK....  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------  
  
Well, another short chapter, but..........  
  
OK, OK, there is NO 'but'...  
  
I'm still not very sure if there will be one or two next chapters... I'm still uncertain about the entire 'Shinji-disappearing-re-appearing'-act. Should I bring him back ? Or should I just let it all start over, with Shinji from the beginning ? Oh well, Gotta think it over.. 


	5. Life is not bliss

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Forgive or Forget 5

Disclaimer: I don't own EVA. I wonder how, I wonder why.. Yesterday you told me……

Author's Note: Ok, I don't know if I'll bring Shinji back or not, the same goes for Rei. Just imagine, if Rei comes back, how would they all react? I mean, if they all saw Third Impact happen, would they not remember Rei being the same as Lilith?? But I think I know what I'm gonna do.. I'm just gonna start typing and see what fast thinking brings...

Uuh, End Author's Note..

--------------------------------------------

"So, you almost got fired?"

I sighed deeply, Toji's always like this.. I say something and he just repeats it again.. Why did I have to go out with him anyway ? I don't have a lot of money right now.. And I'm totally sober.. I don't think I'm gonna like this.. Add to that I'm having a huge headache and Toji's.... waiting for me to answer his question..

"Yeah.. like I said before, I fell asleep on my desk. They were all going home in half an hour.. And, heh, I hadn't done anything the entire day... My boss was pretty pissed off.."

"Ah, don't look gloomy! You're with Toji Suzuhara! And we're gonna dance the entire night, right?"

I groaned... loudly. The fact that I was sober, and didn't have a lot of money meant I would have to dance sober... And I can't even dance right when I'm drunk.. Yep, this is really going 

to suck.. Plus, I can't count on Toji to have lots of money either.. 

"Can't we just go... eat.. somewhere? I really don't feel like going out.."

"What?! How can you NOT feel like going out?! That's absurd !"

Toji paused.. in these kinds of things, ONLY in these kinds of things, he's smart. But then again, you don't have to be smart to figure me out in a situation like this.

"You don't have any money on you, huh ?" Toji said with a deep frown.

I nodded sadly, what else could I do? It's not necessarily to be drunk when partying.... but it's sure as hell convenient !

"No worries my friend!! I've got lots of money !! I'll get you drunk.."

Okay, I took a long pause, widened my eyes, a lot and let out a loud '"HUH?!"'. Toji? With lots of money? It's the same as seeing me with the hottest girl in Tokyo-III! Though I could easily see myself with the hottest.. 

"Yeah Baby!! It's Tequila all night long !!"

Was I going to meet the biggest hang-over ever...

-------------------------

Toji's out with Kensuke, I hope they won't get hurt. But knowing Toji, he would start a fight with someone, I'm pitying Kensuke already, for taking all the punches.. Man... how long does Misato expect us to wait ? The shops are already closing in like five hours !! I can see Asuka's getting impatient too.

"Misato !! Hurry up, already !!! The shops are almost closing !!"

Five hours to go.. I think we'll be there in twenty minutes or so. Why does it always have to go like this ? To shop so short... Every Friday we go out on a shopping spree, the three of us. Misato always takes this long... She's been there for over two hours ! Ok, Asuka and I finished ten minutes ago, but still...

"Let's just go, Hikari. Misato will find us there."

Just then, Misato came out of her room. As soon as she was in my sight, I sighed. Why must she always dress so.... vulgar, I guess. It's not like there are men where we go... No man would dare shop with us, or any woman.. on a Friday... I tried to convince Toji once... But he wouldn't budge an inch. Well, here we go...

------------------------------

"1.....2......3... Go !!!"

There we go.. our second Tequila shot... I bet that if he'd stand up, he would fall down immediately... And we only had 2 shots !! I'm ashamed of his low alcohol tolerance... Well, let's try to build his up..

"Wanna have another one, Suke ?"

He shook his head and pointed somewhere... I don't know where.. but I decide we should go to the dance floor ! Oh yeah !! I put my hand on his back and push toward the dance floor. For some odd reason he was resisting... not that it mattered..

"Toji !! I didn't mean the dance floor !! I meant I had to go the toilet !!"

"Oh... but it's far more relaxing on the dance floor !"

Kensuke just ignored me and fell down as soon as I let go of him. He stood up after a few seconds and stumbled toward the toilets. I shrugged and began to show everyone how a real man dances !!

---------------------

"Alright."

Misato grabbed her purse from her bed, took one last look in her mirror and then left her room. As soon as she entered the living room she was facing two very angry-looking females. She changed her face from a worried look to a 'I'm sorry'-look.

"Misato, the shops are already closing in four and a half hour !" Asuka whined, crossing her arms and shooting a awful looking glare toward Misato.

"Asuka's right, Misato. Next time we won't wait for you anymore !" Hikari joined the whining.

Misato smiled a little smile and crossed her arms, while tilting her head to the side. She got warned by the two young women before her before about her 'always being late-ness.' But they were just warnings. They always kept waiting for her. "Fine, fine. I'm sorry, alright ? Let's just go now." 

Hikari and Asuka both snorted.

Misato sighed as the three of them walked out of the apartment. 'We're acting pretty good considering what yesterday was. The day when we all came back. And some didn't…'

Misato followed Asuka and Hikari outside and prepared herself for a good shopping spree. 'We're over it. I really believe we're over it.'

Misato frowned, 'Well, I'm not, anyway. But maybe…. Maybe the others are..'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Man… This sucks. I'm drunk…. I don't wanna be drunk right now…" Kensuke said out loud, though no one could hear it because of the loud music. 

He watched up at the stage and saw Toji dancing right next to another guy. They were occasionally pushing each other, as if they were fighting for a spot on the platform. 

Kensuke just continued walking through the crowd, trying to come close to Toji's whereabouts. 

'Alrighty.. Everything's still going right. I'm walking a straight line, and I can say the alphabet reversed out loud…. I think… 

"Z…. uh.. Never mind.."

Although Kensuke was horribly drunk, he noticed the scream above him and didn't have the energy to try and doge the flailing body heading his way. Thank god the sense of pain is reduced when you're drunk.

As the boy on top of him stepped off of him, he had trouble breathing and tried to stand up, ever so slowly. "Ughh.. I think I need to puke now…"

He looked up and noticed it was Toji who fell on him. He didn't feel like reacting and just started vomiting.

The sounds of screams surrounded Kensuke's sick body. Toji had started another fight…

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'Hmmm, This looks magnificent on me….' Asuka thought to herself as she took a look at herself in the mirror in the store. She winked at herself and giggled as she decided she was gonna buy the dress. She made a small circle, making her long red hair swing around her face, and faced the mirror again. "This is definitely a nice dress. "

"Hey Asuka, what do you think of this dress ?" Hikari asked at the other side of the store.

Asuka stared at Hikari's direction for a split second and took one last glance at the mirror. What she saw, though, was not something she expected. 

"Wa-Wonder… Wondergirl ?!"

But the image was just as fast gone as it had appeared. Asuka blinked a few times as she stared the mirror hard down. She was sure she just saw Ayanami Rei's face in the mirror. Asuka took a deep breath, shrugged and turned toward Hikari.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whatever you say, Ikari-kun.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You sick MOTHER!!!!"

Toji punched a guy square in the face as he kicked another guy in the side who was already face down. Toji looked down and flinched as he noticed he just kicked Kensuke. "Sorry!!"

That little distraction was enough for someone else to sneak up on Toji and punch him hard in the gut.

"Ow ! You idiot !!"

Toji was hit again.

Never talk during a fight. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It looks good on you, Asuka." Hikari said as soon as she saw Asuka.

Asuka blushed slightly, "Thanks. You're not looking too bad yourself, Misses Suzuhara." 

Hikari smiled, but noticed Asuka was a little 'off.' Being the best girlfriend of the girl can make you notice that.

"What's wrong, Asuka ?"

Asuka frowned, as if she were insulted by the remark, "What do you mean ? Nothing's wrong, everything's ok."

"You're thinking about… about Shinji and Rei ?" Hikari carefully asked.

Asuka flinched at the names, "No. No, not really. Only yesterday, I guess."

"Hey, what do you guys think about this ?"

Asuka and Hikari looked at Misato, who squeezed herself in between them. "Not bad, huh ?"

Hikari and Asuka both shook their heads at the awfully slutty dress Misato was wearing.

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"We're Home !!" Misato screamed, which almost made it seem as if the walls were shaking.

"…… Hi…" Toji responded rather late.

"OH MY GOD !! TOJI !!!" Hikari's voice screeched throughout the apartment.

"Yeah… My fault.." Toji reacted, visibly ashamed.

They all stared at the limp form of one Kensuke Aida. Kensuke was completely battered and covered in tapes, lying on the couch. Toji also had some tape on his face.

"That's it, Suzuhara !! No more going out for you !!" Hikari yelled.

"But.. Hikariiii… It just turned out bad TODAY. It's not like this EVERY day." Toji said, with a very pathetic and pleading tone.

"Oh but it is. You're always picking fights, Toji." Hikari pointed out, looking very strict.

"No, it's not like that. I'm the scapegoat, you see ? They just pick me out to fight with. It's not like I can just walk away, right ?" 

"That's actually a smart thing. You should walk away. Look what happened to Aida-kun." Hikari said, shaking her head and pointing at Kensuke.

"I know… But those bastards started! They were just jealous of my dancing style !!" Toji pouted loudly.

Asuka burst out laughing. "Duh-Dancing STYLE !!?? Spare me!! You're nothing but a stiff twig."

"You Shut up !!" Toji immediately responded.

"Uhhnn…" Kensuke groaned. The groan was very muffled, Kensuke was lost in his own bandages.

"Are you alright, Kensuke ?" Misato asked caringly. 

Kensuke did react, but it was not very clear. Misato tried to hold back the burning desire to chuckle, "I-I'll take that as a yes, ok ?"

Kensuke responded wildly, as if Misato's statement was wrong, but found himself being ignored.

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During all the wildness in the living room, Asuka sneaked into her room and softly sat on her bed. As she listened to the noise being made in the living room, she grabbed a photo from under her pillow. The picture showed her, Misato, Shinji, Hikari, Toji, Kensuke and even Rei. Makoto made this picture by Misato's command. 

She smiled a small smile as she saw Shinji clenching his teeth because she was squeezing Shinji's skin extremely tightly with her nails. It was quite painful, she could imagine. She touched Shinji's face on the picture as her eyes turned watery. "I…. I miss you, Shinji…. "

"Shinji-kun…"

Asuka slowly turned her view from Shinji to Rei. 'I am sure I saw you, Wondergirl…'

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TBC.

Well, by now I think you know what's going to happen in the next chapter. God I hate knowing if you're so horribly predictable. Gotta work on that. Neway, do you mind if I tell here about how far the next chapters of Payback Time and To Start Over are ? These are the only three fics I'm currently working on, actually. Anyway, I haven't started on Payback Time's next chapter -_-' , but To Start Over Chapter 17's almost done.  


End file.
